I want to call you North
So when the wind blows my way
And the storms come in
I have someone to blame
I want to call you Orange
So when I write a poem about you
And the rhythm doesn't work
I'll have an excuse not to rhyme
I want to call you TwentyFour
So when the days get too long
And the minutes stretch on
I can count off the hours 'til you
I want to call you MyDog
So when I say ‘he’s missing’
And put up wanted posters
People will think I’m still sane
I want to call you Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
So that when I'm feeling lonely
And I've no one left to talk to
I can let your syllables fill up the room
I want to call you Sunshine
So when the rain comes pouring in
And the streets begin to flood
I won't be the only one waiting for you
I want to call you Boyfriend
So when conversations turn strange
And I can't stop repeating your name
They'll think that I'm in love and not just unhinged
I just want to call you
So I can hear your voice again
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Author's CommentsComments
 XD we is cool and fave our own collabed poems
-- She always gets really annoyed when she can't fit in my pants.~Dark, about her cousin If I were you, I'd make her feel bad about it. "Dammit, why are you so skinny?" "D8< What, are you calling me anorexic now?! Bitch! WTF!? I am not anorexic!"~Abel   Wow. I think I'm in love with your poem.
I especially enjoyed reading the second verse. This kicks the arse of many other poems I've read. Nice work.  awww! I luuurve it!
:3 the best poem I've read yet seriously o-o I love the supercallafragalisticexpialodocious part, really lovely.  -- "Perhaps when we cry for no reason, or cry with happiness, it's because we're really crying for lost childhoods; the ones that we left behind." "Perhaps." ------------------------------------------------ "To live would be an awfully great adventure."  Amazing.. I love the pattern you guys used... Haha, I wish I was friggin' creative like that!
Love it  -- *Must...resist...emo...comments....*  i should've read it when you wrote it...
-- Snails see the benefits, The beauty in every inch.  ooo I love all the imagery that your poem gives! Its a great idea too. Great job!
-- If you're reading this message, I bet you that you spend a lot of your time staring at glowing rectangles.  ...because every time I look at it, I know I'm meant for you, and you are meant for me
-- Snails see the benefits, The beauty in every inch.  I've been feeling like this a lot lately. Well done poem.
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Critiques
You have a strong start to every stanza that makes whoever is reading it want to know why and throughout the poem, every stanza grows stronger, closer to home, and holds more meaning. The farther you read, the more you can relate to it, so the orginization of the poem is simply fantastic.
The Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious verse was the one that really blew my mind. The imagery was fantastic and I went through a series of relative flashbacks
The only real critque I can provide is that I think the last stanza doesn't have as much umph as the rest of the poem. Does that make any sense? :/ but I can't think of any way to improve on it that would maintain the flow or the poem and the same closeout that the current one provides
I'll let you know if I can think of one though
It's twee but manages to skirt around cliche with some wonderfully unique ideas.
The only change I would make is:
- Clean up the double space lines.
- Remove the italics and bold -- you don;t need it because your words are strong enough on their own.
- I would tweak the second to last stanza by changing the word "think" for "know" and ending that line with the word crazy.
Let the reader fill in the rest of the words with the imagery you invoke.
Also, do you have another word for crazy? Something more personal? For example, I use the word "loopy" for crazy. Changing this word for something a bit more esoteric would be in keeping with the rest of the poem.
Well done and thank you for a great read
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